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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, June 7, 2014

I don’t feel loved by my family

Dear Tita,

I am a first year college student and I have a big problem.

My younger sister, Tina, is fair, talented and is very bright in school. She is quite popular among the students and teachers. In contrast, I am short, dark-complexioned, very shy and I have difficulty with my grades in school. People always compare me to Tina, saying why can’t I be like her? I almost didn’t graduate in high school because of my frequent absences and low grades. I had to be tutored to pass the final exams.

I hate it when I am compared to my sister. I know she is the favorite of our parents, and Papa always buys her nice gifts while I am given cheap ones. Our relatives keep on making jokes about my looks and my attitude. which they call “suplada” (arrogant).

Because of this, I am always in a bad mood and I shout at Tina most of the time, especially when she leaves her things scattered in our room. She is always patient with me and tries to get me out of my bad mood by teasing and kidding me. This only makes things worse.

I am no longer happy here. I always knew that Tina was the favorite because she has everything – looks, personality, intelligence and a loving nature. I want to leave this place and go live with my Lola in Iloilo. She is the only one who understands and loves me.


Dear Unhappy Sister,

Before you decide to leave, why don’t you have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents. Lay all your cards on the table and let them see how you feel about things. Listen to their side of the story.

Your hidden resentments may have clouded your understanding of the real situation. Instead of hating your sister for all her good qualities, why don’t you feel glad that you have such a gifted sister as her?

I hope your relatives stop making comparisons between the two of you. This is only adding salt to the wound. If you really feel that you would be happier with your Lola, tell your parents and they might agree to let you stay with her.

In the meantime, try to think kindly of Tina. She is the only sister you got. Someday, you might even need her.


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