A mother's dilemma
I am 60 years old and a retired teacher from one of the public schools in Bacolod City. My husband died of cancer almost 5 years ago and I have been staying with my youngest daughter, her husband and 5 children. I really enjoy staying with them especially because I get to see my grandchildren almost everyday.
My oldest son who is working abroad with his family has always been trying to invite me to visit them and spend a couple of months.
I really want to visit them but what I don't like is the long travel. In fact, they even suggested that I be accompanied by one of my grandchildren but still I have no guts to travel abroad. Honestly, I have this fear of flying.
During one of my conversations with my son, he said that they really want me to visit them. He even offered to personally come and get me. I mentioned this to my daughter and it resulted in arguments between them. My daughter is quite upset towards my son for insisting on letting me travel abroad knowing that I am old already.
The situation has gotten worse between my 2 children and has caused some misunderstandings and there are noteven communicating anymore.
I am really feeling very sad that they have to argue about me. I really don't know how to handle this situation and find it very difficult to settle.
Dear Concerned Mother,
First, I know how it feels to have a fear of flying, especially in long flights. Most of the time the stress factor is very high and can cause some difficulty in moving around especially going through those big airports.
Both your children are just trying to show their concern from different angles. Your son really wants you to visit them,showing how much they miss you, but your daughter sympathizes with your feelings about traveling abroad. I believe it is only you who can try to make both understand. What I can suggest is for you to see your doctor to see if you are medically fit to travel abroad, and if your doctor gives you the green light, maybe you can consider granting the request of your son and explain to your daughter why you should travel.
Having a member of the family with you can lessen the fear of traveling by yourself. I am sure, one way or another, the miscommunication between your daughter and your son will be settled.
Praying for you.