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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Abused by her uncle

Dear Tito,

In March 2017, I will be graduating with a course Major in Marketing from a local university in Iloilo City. My story began way back in high school, a secret , which I have not told anyone until today.

Both my parents wereworking -my father worked for the government while my mother was employed in a private company.

I was only 14 years old when this horrible thing happened. I was studying alone at home while my parents were still at work when my uncle, my mom's younger brother arrived. He was looking for my mom but I told him she was still at work. So he decided to wait for her.

While waiting I noticedthat he kept on looking at me while I was at the dining table studying. He continued to stare withmalicein his eyes. Finally, he asked me to sit beside him in thesala, towhich I conceded. To my dismay,he started to put his arms around my shoulder and it totally shocked me when he kissed me and started to touch my private parts. I told him to stop what he was doing but just ignored my plea and forced himself on me. I started to cry and begged for him not to do it but he continued his lustful activity. Tito, much to my surprise and in anguish, I lost my virginity that day. When he was done with his evil intent, he told me not to tell my parents or else he will do harm to me.

That happened almost 7 years ago and I have not told my parents even my relatives and friends because I was afraid. This also resulted to my fear of men. I never had any boyfriend in my entire life even if I had a number of suitors. Because of my traumatic experience, I started to hate men.

Honestly, I am still being haunted by my past. My parents have no idea of what happened to me.

Secretive Daughter

DearSecretive Daughter,

I'mg lad that you have the courage to share your past. What happened to you is indeed very traumatic and shocking. You became a victim of rape and incest. Families are considered to be people who would protect us and would understand us and not hurt us.

If you had the boldness to tell your parents what your uncle did to you that time when you were still a minor, for sure your uncle will be put behind bars. People like him are very dangerous and should not be given the freedom to just walk away with hiscriminal act.

But again, it has already happened and you or your parents were not able to do something about it because of his threat that he will harm you.

I suggest that you see a counsellor or somebody who could help you process your post traumatic disorder as a result of that bad experience and eventually overcome your past that keeps haunting you and be free to move on with your life as an adult. Professionals like psychologists or psychiatrists can help you dealwith your situation and ultimately enable you to have the courage to tell your parents what happened to you many years ago.

I really don't know how your parents, especially your mother would react when they know about this but I believe they have the right to know. That is the only way things will have a closure and, most ofall, youruncle will suffer the consequences of his action.

Praying for you.

Tito

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