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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, August 27, 2016

Separated by work

Dear Tito,

I had the chance to read your column last week and I decided to send you my problem hoping that you will be able to give me some advice on what to do with my situation.

I am working here in Iloilo City as a marketing manager. I have been married for the last 25 years and we have 3 children, most of them are now professionals.

For the last 3 months, every time I go home to Bacolod I have noticed something different with my husband. He keeps going out with his friends and sometimes doesn't sleep in the house. All my 3 children confirmed this.

I have nothing against going out with friends as long as he doesn't fool around. One day I confronted him about it. He said he does it because he feels lonely during the week that I am not around.

Tito, I believe he has a point, but I don't want him to be tempted and might regret it later. That is my fear.

I really don't want my marriage to be ruined because of my job that needs me to be away from my family. Honestly, I have been thinking about it. Our company doesn't have a branch in Bacolod so the only option is to resign from my job and go back to Bacolod. But we still have some bills to pay that is why I need to work and help my husband.

I really don't know what to do at this point in time. I really need your advice.

Fearful Wife

Dear Fearful Wife,

I really admire your commitment to your family. Normally, it is the responsibility of the husband to provide for his family, but culturally now that is not applicable anymore. Most husbands and wives have jobs to fully support each other.

There is a need for both of you to sit down and talk about the matter. Yes, probably, he is just spending time with his friends without doing anything that might hurt you. But your husband should realize that he needs to be aware that most of the time he is vulnerable to other women. You should consider setting some conditions. Also if he is not working maybe he can join you in Iloilo during the week to keep you company. Maybe this is a remote idea but it can be considered.

God bless you.

Tito

 


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