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Bacolod City, PhilippinesSaturday, January 25, 2014

He came back!

Dear Tita,

After 22 years of being married and having two kids, my husband, Tony, gave me a shock when he suddenly said he wanted to leave as he was unhappy. I was completely stunned. I never thought this could happen to us.

I asked him what I had done to make him want to leave me. He said it wasn’t anything I did – he just wanted to leave. I cried and tried my best to make him stay but it was no use. He had made up his mind and left.

Later on, I found out that he was involved with a younger woman, who made him so crazy over her that he neglected his job and was asked to resign. The woman left for Cebu and Tony decided to go after her as he told his friends he couldn’t live without her. Our kids couldn’t understand why their father left. Their grades suffered, and our son became rebellious and moody.

It took a lot of effort for me to get our lives functioning again, but I managed to get over the shock and move on. After a year, things started to get back to normal when suddenly Tony showed up and begged for my forgiveness. He cried and asked me to take him back. He confessed that he had become so confused and crazy over the younger woman that he could afford to lose his job and leave his family. He went to Cebu and lived with the woman he had fallen in love with. After a few months, his money ran out and they began fighting a lot. The woman met another man and left Tony just like that. He said he realized how wrong he was to leave us for her. That evening, when the kids came home, they were overjoyed to see their father and begged me to take him back.

At the moment, Tony is staying here while I am trying to find it in my heart to forgive and forget. But it still hurts so much. I still don’t know what to do.

STILL HURTING

Dear Still Hurting,

I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do.

The way he left you was heartless and brutal. No woman could easily forgive that. But the ball is in your court now. You have to decide how you want to play it. Should you take him back? Ask yourself if you still love him. Because if you do, then forgiving would be easier. But if love is gone (and I wouldn’t blame you if it is), then you must tell him that it’s over and he has to get on with his life without you.

TITA

 

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