I’m not happy in my marriage
I have been married to my wife, Ason, for 14 years. We have two kids, a girl and a boy. My parents were very good friends with her parents and they kept prodding me to court Ason when we were still in college. I wasn’t particularly attracted to her as I had known her all my life and I felt like she was a sister to me.
But my mother wouldn’t let up campaigning for Ason who, she said, would make a perfect wife like her mother. I could not openly defy my parents’ wishes so I courted Ason, who immediately said yes. She was very sweet and loving and even revealed how she had a crush on me all her life. I wasn’t especially thrilled as I had my eye on another schoolmate, who I knew would never get my mother’s approval as her parents were not well off. Ason and I were always out on dates and when she came to our house, she would come inside my room when my parents were not home. It wasn’t long before we forgot ourselves and the inevitable happened – she got pregnant. Our parents were so excited and planned our wedding.
Her father offered me a job as assistant manager of their company and I accepted. They gave us a grand and stylish wedding, but to be honest about it, I wasn’t very happy during the wedding although I pretended to be.
My unhappiness began to show soon after. Ason couldn’t understand why I was always moody and difficult. She tried her best to shower me with love and care but I felt like I was trapped in a cage. After she gave birth to our second baby, I stopped having sex with her. I was cold to her overtures and I knew she was hurt. Recently, my mother took me aside and asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t tell her I am so unhappy in my marriage.
Should I tell Ason how I feel?
Dear Unhappy Husband,
You entered marriage with your eyes wide open. You knew how you felt yet you still went through with it. You didn’t have the backbone to tell them how you felt. Now that so many years have passed, and you have two kids, you feel you can’t stand it anymore and you want your freedom.
Isn’t it a bit late? You have a sweet and loving wife, who adores you but you treat her with indifference. I think you even blame her for the situation you are in. It’s not her fault that she loves you to death. You made her believe you cared for her. Whatever you are looking for, ask yourself – is it worth giving up everything you have?