I can’t forgive her

Dear Tita,

My son Jun was the pride of our family. He was so loving, thoughtful, fun-loving and everybody, even our helpers, loved him. When he was in college, he fell in love with Lin, his schoolmate. I could see that Jun was really in love. He was so happy when Lin accepted him. The day he brought Lin to our house for lunch, I could see how much he adored her. After graduation, Jun was planning to go abroad to Bahrain to work for a while and then come back to marry Lin. He told me she had promised to wait for him as his contract was for two years.

Every time he called, he would always tell me how much he missed Lin and wished he could come to visit her. I told him to just be patient as it was only for two years. One day a relative of mine came and told me Lin was going out with a junior executive in their company. They looked lovey-dovey, I was told. I wanted to tell Jun but I didn’t want to hurt him so I just kept silent, hoping that Lin would keep her promise to Jun.

But I got the shock of my life when I heard that Lin eloped with the guy because she had gotten pregnant. I was so afraid for Jun as I knew how much he loved her. After two days, I got the terrible news that Jun met an accident while driving to work, and that, he didn’t survive the head-on collision. His company was sending back his body home for burial. I immediately knew why Jun met an accident – because of what Lin did. During the burial, a lot of people came to pay their respects. Lin came and wanted to talk to me but I refused to talk to her, so she left crying. She tried to call but I wouldn’t answer her. Somehow I can’t forgive her for what she did. I blame her for my son’s death. Am I wrong?

GRIEVING MOTHER

Dear Grieving Mother,

You have my sympathies for the loss of your beloved son, Jun. In your deep sorrow, you can’t help blaming Lin for what happened. Who knows? It might have been a terrible coincidence for Jun’s accident to happen right after Lin’s elopement. But as they say, “Time heals all wounds”. In time when your anger has mellowed, you might find it in your heart to forgive Lin. Don’t spend the rest of your life in bitterness. It won’t help anybody, least of all, you.

TITA