You might find them in malls hanging around with friends, or at school finishing a class project -- the usual activities of teenagers but many of them may be concenred with more than just these, especially those who are emotionally involved with members of the opposite sex that could lead to early marriages. StarLife asked some students on their views of teen marriages and here are their thoughts on the matter.

Daryl Ann ‘Bom’ Tipay
Psychology Major

“Love may be moral even without marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.”

In a psychological point of view, the social and emotional development of teenagers focus on relationships, growth of social skills and the influence of social world on their emotional life. It is in this stage of development that people seek for romantic relationships with people whom they perceive to be of the same characteristics.

In this quest for romantic relationships, my questions are: How do they define love, emotional support and sexual gratification? Can they manage their feelings? Do these teens consider the fact that the relationship can end up into marriage? Are they ready for a married life?

As a future psychologist, I do understand the needs of teenagers and their urge to satisfy these needs. With respect to relationships, however, I implore them to answer my questions before they plunge in.  As for me, romantic relationship is not linked to marriage. Love may be moral even without marriage, but marriage is immoral without love. In other words, it is practical for marriage to wait for love and to define love for youngsters as
T - I – M - E.

Julius ‘Jules’ Juen
Biology Sophomore

“I think that it pays a lot to wait until the right time comes where maturity and capability are unquestionable anymore.”

Today’s society is far more different compared to the past. Teenagers are shifting from the conservative way of living into an era wherein liberated thoughts are being considered as part of the norms of the teenage society. Teenagers nowadays become more adventurous and daring to the point of engaging in sexual relationships as in pre-marital sex. Because of this, they face consequences such as teenage pregnancy which is a primary reason why teenagers get into marriage in an early age in their lives.

I am not favorable on teenage marriages because for the fact that teenagers still lack the capability of raising a family. This incapability is due to the lack of experience and knowledge in dealing with serious issues such as marriage. One consideration of marrying at an early age is the responsibility of being a teen couple. Marriage is not pure fun and games but rather entails more responsibilities that teenagers might forgot to think of. Another consideration in teenage marriage is education. Most teen couples sacrifice their education in order to get a job just to meet the obligations of being a teenage parent. Financial security is also a problem for most teen couples. Because of the lack of education, they experience a hard time finding suitable jobs that will give them enough income to raise their family and if ever they find one, it may not be the work that they have dreamed of. 

I think that it pays a lot to wait until the right time comes where maturity and capability are unquestionable anymore. Just consider all the fun things that you can do with your friends that you can not actually do when you are already married. Enjoy life to its fullest!

Cris Andrew ‘Andoy’ Ronato
Communications Engineering

“Marriage is about the sacred union of two individuals who are stable enough to sustain the daily demands of a married life”

Regarding my stand on teen marriages, I am certain that the people involved are well aware of the married life to come up with such life changing decisions. Marriage does not only guarantee happiness and bliss. It also comes with challenges, difficulties, and responsibilities. Moreover, I think that they would not compromise their teenage life in exchange of something that they are not fully certain of.  I think that they are wise enough to foresee its underlying consequences it.

There are instances, however, wherein teenage marriages may be deemed inevitable by people who have committed unwanted pregnancies or by those who are experiencing extreme penury. They are left with almost no choice but to marry each other for the sake of their child, for the intension of saving each other, or for some other lame reasons and excuses which, in the long run, could add up to the weight that they are currently carrying. Apparently, these kinds of people intend to cure the illness through wrong medications.

Marriage is about the sacred union of two individuals who are stable enough to sustain the daily demands of a married life. The most significant element of marriage which is lalala-love, backed up by trust, respect, and understanding, regardless of age, should be the primary reason of such union and not anything else. However, reality also tells us that we should also be responsible and highly accountable for whatever actions we do, which includes being financially and emotionally equipped prior to embracing a settled life. Marriage is not something you could just readily give up when you do not want it any longer.

Philippe Jan ‘PPE’ de la Cruz
Accountancy Junior

“Marriage must be legal based on positive laws, based on moral laws…”

Teen marriage is neither absolutely wrong nor is it absolutely right. Marriage, a union of two individuals, must be done for the right reasons. For me, the sacred vows of marriage must be made if and only if both  fully understand the things that they are about to go in to. The fact is that we can’t really generalize that teen marriage is wrong just because it is somehow still a taboo in the society..

For me, marriage must be first and foremost, correct in the eyes of God and is in accordance to what He planned. The act of submitting oneself into marriage must not be caused by some shallow reason that will eventually be a misunderstanding of God’s original plan. Secondly, the marriage must be legal based on positive laws, based on moral laws. It must adhere to the requirements as these are made for our own benefit.

In conclusion, marriage must be entered into for the right reasons – reasons that are in accordance with the plan of God and in the eyes of men. Teens can marry provided that they hold themselves accountable and responsible to their ultimate decision.

Mary Joy ‘MJ’ Castor
Chemical Engineering

“Teenagers can marry if they want to or if the situation calls for it!”

“Right person + Wrong Time = Wrong Relationship”

“Wrong person + Right Time = Wrong Relationship”

“Right person + Right Time = Right Relationship”

These “equations of relationships” came from the book written by Josh Harris entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  These equations may sound very idealistic for the current generation, but it is in reality made successful marriages last.

Before, being married early is something common (my grandmother got married to my grandfather when she was 17 years old), and the marriage still lasts for a lifetime.  Nowadays, though the legal age was increased, teen marriage is still rampant.  The difference though is that most of these marriages DO NOT last long.

Marriage is a sacred covenant made between a man and woman.  Again, MAN and WOMAN.  Being a man or being a woman doesn’t entail that you should be at least 25 years old to be called that, but it is about maturity. 

Marriage was blessed and started by God.  It is about a relationship first with Him, second with the one He destined us to be with.

Teenagers can marry if they want to or if the situation calls for it.  But as the bible says, there’s always a time for everything.  At a young age, one can enjoy the seasons of studying, going with friends, experiencing love, and merely staying up for a late night show.  Once you entered the season of marriage, it’ll be a different timeline for you, and going back is something you can not afford to do.

Adrian ‘AD’ Bobe
Mass Communication Senior

“Teenage marriage is a kind which puzzles lovers into a different level of ‘inTEENmate relationship.”

 “Kids can’t handle thingies!”

This is one good phrase I learned from my boss who taught me that no one is good enough to handle relationships- of any kind- for teens are as good as kids who cant handle things well. How much more if one gets married, sleeps in sacred vows, sends his or her child to school and, at the same time, learns chemistry or algebra lessons in a classroom confined with noisy students? Whew! That would surely spell a lot of work and more extras- time, effort, dedication, and even love.

Teenage marriage is a kind which puzzles lovers into a different level of ‘inTEENmate relationship’. It’s a kind that I don’t want to get into. My parents settled in this kind, and all their efforts to make it work, proved little futile though. However, we’re coping in the dilemma of the marriage they got into when he, at 17, and she, was 16.

Teenage years are the most complicated, hassle-full, and are considered as the wandering stage of every person. In fact, this is one stage that directs our future, since many experiences- good or bad- are weaved during these years.

Teens just can’t manage! In whichever way you look at it, it’s a union of two teens; or rather kids, who can’t handle thingies! Thanks to my boss who constantly reminds me that I can’t handle!

Glaiza ‘Glai’ Estander
Teen Mother who plans to get married soon

“I could not think of good points when teen marriage and pregnancy is on hot seat.”

Teen marriage happens accidentally. In my case, after having bore to my boy nearly five months ago, getting laid for marriage soon followed. I want my son to grow with a father as legally and emotionally as possible.

I’m young, very dynamic, has many plans- and marriage accidentally fits in the suitcase in no time. Now, life is not that easy going anymore. How much I wanted to become independent, but being self-supporting for my baby and future husband is yet a story to be told.

Being a teen mom entails a lot of prayers and faith. Actually, I have no idea as to how crucial it became, but, eventually it turned out well enough though. I could not think of good points when teen marriage and pregnancy is on hot seat. What I know is, at least for now; our baby bonded our family members and brought joy- a lot of it. I also realized how important I am to them. Marriage should be pre planned and not be an occasion after one gets pregnant. In whatever parlance you’d call it, teen marriage in any way should not be promoted. Well in my case, it turned out differently.

Kristine June ‘KJune’ Laga-a
Nursing Sophomore

“For marriage is not all love and love alone, its about being with the right person at the right time.”

Teen marriage is rampant nowadays. I have been exposed to various instances where my friends got pregnant and eventually ended exchanging vows due sudden “baby alerts.” As a teenager myself, I think teen marriage and all that it encompasses are things no teen can handle or manage well. Marriage is sacred and that all its elements- sex, love, family, and children- should remain as it is and should not be indulged into after one gets pregnant due to being impulsive.

To my fellow youth, if you are happy with the wrong or the not-so-right person you are with at the moment, just hold on to the hope that what more happiness you cant get if the right one comes along. If it is true love, then it could wait. For marriage is not all love and love alone, its about being with the right person at the right time.

Ritzel ‘Ritz’ Bionat
Nurse

“ Ideally, the honeymoon comes after the wedding. Nowadays, the marriage comes after the honeymoon”.

As a nurse, I believe that most teenage marriages resulted from what I call “hormone explosion”. Teenagers, or adolescents, are in a stage of their lives where they undergo a lot of changes, either physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Among these, the change in the emotional aspect gives the biggest impact. Teenagers tend to be emotional, dramatic, and most of all, impulsive, especially in the sexual aspect. Why is that so? Medically speaking, its because of hormones. There bodies were used to the usual level of hormones and the sudden surge of such hormones during adolescence is too hard to handle. Therefore, they undergo a lot of stress and need an appropriate outlet. When usually the outlet is inappropriate, thus, the out let results to an output. This output will eventually become the reason for marriage.

 

A Guidance Counselor’s View

Noel S. Marañon
Guidance Counselor
University of St. La Salle

Adolescence is a difficult time in the life of any person.  This is a developmental stage characterized by a complex physical, emotional and psychological changes. Thus, this is not the ideal time of their lives when teenagers should contemplate on making a very mature and adult decision such as getting married.

When teenagers get married, this makes the situation even harder and doubly challenging. Teenagers are at a precarious stage where their mindset and their priorities are not yet established. Add to that the raging hormones and the stress and strain inherent in adolescence, you have the formula for disaster.  Eventhough both teenage parties profess their undying love for each other, I feel that they are not in the best position to make that very adult decision because their priorities are fleeting and changing. If you look at the statistics, a teenage marriage is more likely to fail in the first few years than an adult marriage because the parties involved may not have the psychological, emotional and even financial readiness. This is not to say though that all teenage marriages are bound to fail but I think that teenagers, at this time of their lives, should be concerned with finishing an education first and building themselves up for a future career.  They should also expand their social circle and meet as many people as possible so that they can make a more informed decision about marriage in the future.