I can’t control my grandchildren

Dear Tita,

My daughter Gina (not her real name), has always been stubborn and headstrong. When she was in her teens, she began hanging out with a wild crowd despite our warnings about dire consequences. True enough, she got pregnant by her boyfriend who abandoned her when he was told she was pregnant. We forgave her and helped her through her pregnancy and childbirth. She gave birth to a baby boy when she was only 17 years old. After a few months she began going out with her barkada, leaving the care of her son to me. We kept warning her that she might get into trouble, if she kept going with them but our warnings fell on deaf ears. When her son was only two years old, Gina got pregnant again with her new boyfriend. My husband’s health deteriorated after that and he died of a stroke after she gave birth to a baby girl.

Money was scarce as my salary wasn’t enough to pay for our expenses. Gina worked as a salesgirl for a while but she got bored and quit. She tried being a promo girl for a couple of years and I thought she had changed for the better but she still kept going out with her friends. Meanwhile her two kids were growing up without a father. They are both stubborn and headstrong like their mother and I can hardly keep up with them.

Lately, Gina has been planning to go abroad to work and she told me she will leave her kids with me. I love my grandchildren very much but I am getting old and my health is not so good. I get tired easily and my arthritis is bothering me. I am worried that I might not be able to cope with two young people who are rebellious and uncontrollable. I told Gina this but she insists on leaving.

CONCERNED GRANDMA

Dear Concerned Grandma,

Gina is an irresponsible ungrateful daughter who takes advantage of you because she knows you can’t refuse her. You have let her get her way all these years even though it has caused you so much grief. It’s time you put your foot down and say no. She has to face up to her responsibilities as a mother and take good care of her kids who are growing up fast. You have sacrificed enough for her. You have to think of your health. At your age, you should be taking it easy and not be saddled with a couple of uncontrollable children. That’s their mother’s responsibility.

TITA

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