‘My sister’s husband is abusive’

Dear Tita,

My younger sister Ana and I are the only children of our parents. Our father died

when we were both very young. When I was 16, our mother got sick with cancer of

the uterus. Just before she died, she bade me to look out for my sister and I promised her I

would. I was very protective of Ana who has always been so frail and shy. An aunt took care of us until we finished our college courses and were both working. It wasn’t long before Ana met Jun and fell in love with him. During their wedding, Jun’s sister Lulu, came to attend the wedding. The moment we met, we were both immediately attracted to

each other. Jun and Ana were delighted when we told them we were in love. They gave

us a nice wedding and we settled down here.

However, I began to notice something was amiss with Ana. I could see bruises on

her arms and legs when I visited her. One time I saw her with a black eye and I asked her

if Jun was hurting her. She didn’t want to admit it at first but upon prodding from me, she

finally said yes. Jun would get violent with her whenever he lost his temper. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that my beloved sister was a battered wife. I immediately talked to Jun and warned him never to lay a hand on Ana again. When I told my wife Lulu about it, she was very defensive about Jun.

Last week, I went to see Ana and was shocked to see that she was limping. When I

asked their maid what happened, she told me that Jun kicked her in a fit of anger. I was so

mad that I told Ana I would give Jun a dose of his own medicine. I called Jun and challenged him to a fight but Ana pleaded with me to control myself as she knew I had taken up taekwondo in college. When I got home, Lulu and I had an argument. She sided with her brother and warned me that if I ever beat him up, she would leave me. I am angry with my wife for siding with her brother but I don’t want to break up my family.

How can I help my sister?

CONCERNED BROTHER

P.S. The names I mentioned are not their real names.

Dear Concerned Brother,

Talk to your sister and try to convince her to stop being a door mat. She should

stand up for her rights. We have laws protecting battered women and she must put a stop

to her abusive husband by filing a case against him. This is very difficult especially since

your sister is the meek and mild type, but you should convince her to protect herself by reporting Jun to the authorities. You are her tower of strength and she needs you now

more than ever. I hope your wife understands the situation and would not break up your

family just to side with her abusive brother.

TITA

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