I bumped into my old bf

Dear Tita,

I'm more than 50 years old, have a good job, a family blessed with two wonderful children, now both married. My husband of 26 years may not be the perfect provider but he's a good family man.

My problem started when I bumped into my former boyfriend during one business trip I had in Zamboanga. It was an innocent meeting, saying hi and hello. We talked of our respective lives, nothing more. No mention of the past.

Since then the text messages have never stopped, first was just simply to say `how are you today’. But later on I could sense some overtones in the messages, talking about the past and how he regretted his decision about marrying somebody else – a girl he met in one of his trips and it was a whirlwind romance, he said.

Tita, do you believe in the saying "first love never dies"? Now I am enjoying his messages, even just his "how are you today". More when he sends me those notes we used to share in college. They are giving color to my otherwise boring daily routine or messages from my husband – the usual where do I pick you up / how is so and so? Have you paid Baciwa or Ceneco? Has Manila office called? Please drop by the grocery, etc. etc.

Tita, do you think what I'm doing is wrong? I am sure there will be no personal meetings, except perhaps accidental ones. At my age I feel I could be in control of myself, no matter that everytime I receive his text I feel like I'm 22 years old again.

GUINEVERE

Dear Guinevere,

You named yourself after my favorite character, Queen Guinevere, in the tales of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. It is a very romantic story albeit a tragic one. Guinevere was caught in her affair with Sir Lancelot (her lover) and she was severely punished by her husband. I'm sure you wouldn't want your story to end the same way. You feel young again after seeing your old flame and being in touch with him through text messages, etc.

If it remains this way, I don't see anything wrong. But you would be tempting fate. The time might come when both of you will feel the urge to meet again and who knows what would happen? You could lose everything – your stable family life and your good husband. If you promise to keep this friendship on the same level it is now, then go ahead.

But be very careful not to go overboard.

TITA

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