How can I tell my
brother’s wife?

Dear Tita,

My brother, Ron, died suddenly of aneurysm at the age of 40. His death was unexpected that it was a big shock to all of us, especially to his widow, Rita. During the wake and the burial, Rita tried to put up a brave front although everyone could see how she was suffering. She was so inconsolable that we became worried over her health. Her two daughters tried to cheer her up but she sank into deep despair, isolating herself in her room.

Ron was her first love. He was everything to her and now he was gone. It was as though something in her died too.

One day, a woman with a little boy came to my office and introduced herself as Lyn. She told me she had a secret affair with my brother Ron while he was alive, and that, the little boy with her was my brother’s son. It was a big shock for me. I couldn’t believe it. She showed me pictures of Ron with his arms around her while she was pregnant. There were also photos of Ron holding the baby who soon grew up to be a little boy playing with his father.

There was no doubt about it – the boy was the spitting image of Ron. Lyn told me that Ron had been giving financial support for his son but after his death there was nothing. She wanted to ask my help as she was jobless and they were being driven out of the house she was renting.

I was in complete turmoil. Looking at her, I could see why Ron fell in love. Lyn was pretty and gentle. She had a quiet dignity about her that showed she was a well-bred person. The little boy was well-behaved and very polite. I felt sorry for them and promised to find a way to help her. It has been a week since she came but I still haven’t told Ron’s wife, Rita, about it. I am concerned as she is so fragile and weak. Please advise me what to do.

CONCERNED SISTER

Dear Concerned Sister,

I can understand your dilemma. You are torn between your loyalty to your sister-in-law and your sympathy for your brother Ron’s paramour and his son. The main problem is financial support for the boy. If Ron had not left any provision for his son, then perhaps you could help Lyn temporarily by giving (or lending) her money so they could have a place to stay.

Also, it would be better if you could help Lyn find a job. As soon as you feel that Rita is stronger, you have to tell her the truth. Hopefully, her love for Ron is such that she can forgive him anything, even this infidelity. Just be there for her. Also, it would be best if you could consult a lawyer regarding the boy’s rightful share in his father’s estate. Illegitimate children have a right to inherit a portion of their father’s property.

TITA

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