My partner’s son
wants to live with us

Dear Tita,

When I met Luisa, I was immediately attracted to her. She told me she was separated from her husband and that their two sons were with their father in Cebu, as she was jobless and he could afford to give them a better, comfortable life.

I felt sorry for her as I could see how she missed her kids. Their separation was very bitter and she couldn’t keep in touch with her kids as her husband forbade any contact between them. We became close and it wasn’t long before we fell madly in love. Gradually, the sadness in her eyes disappeared as our love grew stronger. We decided to live together when she got pregnant. After she gave birth to our son, Luisa was a changed woman. She was so happy being a mother again. When she got pregnant with our second child, we moved to our new house in a nice subdivision.

Years passed and we had settled down to a happy, peaceful life with our two kids, a boy and a girl. Luisa took excellent care of me and our kids. However, last week when I got home from work, she met me at the door and she was crying.

Her sister Nena had just called and told her the bad news – her son Jun, who was now a teenager, was into drugs and was gay. The boy contacted Nena and told her he was having problems with his father in Cebu, and that, he wanted to live with his mother here in Bacolod.

When Luisa heard what happened to her son, she blamed herself for everything. She felt she had failed her children. That night she asked me if Jun could come and stay with us.

I haven’t given her my answer yet as I have my misgivings about Jun’s being here. The fact that he is into drugs and is gay might cause problems. I am also worried about how his would affect our two kids who are now in grade school. I know that if I say no, Luisa will be very disappointed as she has her heart set on having Jun here with us.

LOVING PARTNER

Dear Loving Partner,

I can understand your point. Taking in Luisa’s problem son into your home might cause a lot of problems in your peaceful existence. But how can you refuse a mother’s concern for her own son? She feels guilty about not being there for him when he needed her most and now that he wants to be with her, she thinks she can make it up to him.

The thing to do now is to have a heart-to-heart talk with Luisa and tell her how you feel about the whole thing. Try to explore other options like putting Jun into rehab to check his drug problem. There is nothing you can do about his being gay. It could happen to the best of families. As to how this might affect your own kids, both of you should have an honest talk with them about their stepbrother. This is a situation that your family has to face. It needs a lot of support and understanding from each one of you.

TITA

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