Our mother was a martyr

Dear Tita,

I am the eldest of three siblings. Ever since we were kids, we saw how badly our father treated our mother. He would often come home drunk and unruly. Our poor mother would be patiently attending to him but he would slap her around for the slightest reason. We could hear everything from our bedroom, trembling in fear until we fell asleep.

Our mother was a lady. She came from a well-to-do family and attended an exclusive school for girls. When she met our father, she was immediately attracted to him because he was different from all the guys she knew. He was loud and rough with a devil-may-care attitude in life. She found him exciting and irresistible, even though her parents were vehemently against him. They eloped after her parents forbade her from seeing him.

Her ordeal began after the birth of their eldest child. My father had so many vices and he was cruel to my mother even though she was spending her own money for all our needs. I couldn't understand why he would humiliate her so. Maybe it was because he knew she was too good for him. Her relatives and friends kept telling her to leave him but she loved him so much and was willing to be a martyr wife to him.

Her health suffered and at 43 years old, our mother died of a heart attack. Her poor heart just gave up. My siblings and I were all married at the time and were living with our families. We were shocked when after only a year, our father took his young paramour to live with him in the house that our mother built with her inheritance. He said he didn't give a damn what people thought. We even heard that his paramour is now wearing our mother's jewelry and her expensive things. They are enjoying our late mother's money and her possessions. We feel outraged by this. It is impossible to try to talk to our father as he just blows his top at us. Please advise us what to do.

ANGRY DAUGHTER

Dear Angry Daughter,

Why don't you and your siblings consult a lawyer on what steps you can take to protect your interests? This way, there will be an accounting of your late mother's estate (if she died intestate).

Your father didn't deserve your good mother, who probably died from a broken heart. He even has the gall to bring his mistress in the house your mother built. I remember the big brouhaha in the newspapers in the UK when pictures were shown of Prince Charle's second wife Camila, wearing jewelry that were clearly worn by his first wife Diana, when she was still alive. These things do happen and I can understand your own outrage.

TITA

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