He brought his
paramour to our house

Dear Tita,

My husband Tito and I have been married for eight years and we have two kids. Our marriage has been rocky because of Tito's playing around. We have often fought because of this and he always promised he would stop fooling with other women.

We are both working and recently, we bought a new house in a nice subdivision with a Pag-ibig housing loan. I bought new furniture – beds, sofa, dining table, etc. We were proud of our new house and often invited our friends over.

Two weeks ago, I took the kids to Iloilo to visit my parents for a couple of days. Tito stayed behind as he couldn't leave his work. While I was in Iloilo , I would call Tito on his cellphone, but it was very difficult to get in touch with him as he was often “out of reach.” Nevertheless, we enjoyed our short vacation with my parents.

When we got back, my next door neighbor came to the house after Tito left for work and she told me that she saw Tito with a young woman in our house, while I was in Iloilo . I was puzzled as to who this woman was as Tito never mentioned having a guest here. After my neighbor left, I decided to give our house a thorough cleaning. When I took off the pillowcase from our pillows, I found an earring stuck inside the lace border. I was shocked! It was not mine and then I knew that Tito had another woman inside our room and on our bed! I immediately called him at work and told him to come home at once.

By the time he got home, I was in a rage and confronted him with the earring I found. He became pale and tried to act as though he didn't know anything about it. But when I told him that someone saw him with a woman in our house, he reluctantly admitted that he did bring a lady friend to our house. I screamed at him and asked him why he had sex with the woman in our bed. He just kept saying, “I'm sorry”! I threw a vase at him and took our kids to my sister's house where I am still staying up to now. Tito has been pleading with me to come home but I am so angry with him for what he did. He took out the joy I feel for our new house. I can't imagine going back and sleeping in our bed where he had sex with his paramour. Please advise me what to do.

BETRAYED

Dear Betrayed,

What your husband did was unforgivable. There are so many places he could have brought his paramour to, why did it have to be in your own house and in your own bed! I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. It is now time to ask yourself, if you could ever forgive him. As you say, the thought of sleeping in your bed where he had sex with another woman is abhorrent and repulsive.

If you feel you can't go back, don't force yourself. You will only be miserable if you do. Give yourself time to get over the hurt. Let him sweat it out a bit and find out what it's like to lose your family. Hopefully, he will have learned his lesson. To all the husbands out there, please remember – the greatest insult you can do to your wife is to bring your paramour to your home. Having sex in your matrimonial bed with your other woman is unforgivable!

TITA

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