My ex showed up

Dear Tita,

When I was in my senior year in college, I began to worry when my period didn't come. I took a pregnancy test and it was confirmed. I was pregnant! I told my boyfriend Jerry and he was so stunned, he could hardly talk. He said he was sorry but he couldn't marry me as he was still a junior in college and he wanted to finish his course. I got so angry with him that I shouted cruel words and told him it was over between us. He tried to reason with me but I refused to listen. His text messages and phone calls went unanswered.

I finally told my mother about my condition when she caught me throwing up in the bathroom one morning. We both cried and she decided to take me to Cebu where we stayed until I gave birth to a baby boy. I decided to stay in Cebu and work in my uncle's furniture store. I liked it there and met many friends. One of them was Al, a young business executive who was working for his father's company. He began courting me even though he knew about my son. I fell in love with him and not long after, we got married. Al showed how much he loved me and doted on my son, Carlo. When Carlo was five years old, we came to live in Bacolod as Al wanted to open a branch of his father's company here. We got a lovely house in a nice subdivision and settled down to a comfortable life.

One day while I was coming out of a bank, I heard my name called by a familiar voice. It was Jerry. He was very happy to see me again and asked how I was. I told him I was married to a wonderful guy. He then asked about what happened as I disappeared so suddenly. I told him I gave birth to a son who was now five years old. Tears welled in his eyes and he told me how sorry he was about everything. He asked if he could see our son. Without thinking, I said yes and took him home with me. The minute he saw Carlo, Jerry cried like a baby and hugged his son.

After a few minutes, he asked if we needed anything and I told him my husband gives us everything we needed. I could see he wanted to say something but he decided against it and left.

That evening, when Al came home, Carlo told him about a man who came and hugged him. Al got curious and asked me who the man was. I told him it was Jerry, my ex-boyfriend and Carlo's father. Al got so angry, he shouted unprintable words at me and asked me how could I bring Jerry into our house. I tried to reason with him that I saw nothing wrong with it but he got angrier and stormed out of the house. That night, for the first time in our married life, Al came home drunk at two o'clock in the morning. I know he is still mad at me because every time I ask him something, he says, “Why don't you ask Jerry”! Please advise me what to do.

CONFUSED

Dear Confused,

It was very wrong of you to bring Jerry to your house to see your son Carlo. I know that in the excitement of seeing him again, you acted on impulse, but you should have thought of the consequences of your action. You can't blame your husband Al for being angry. Any man would. You should have first asked your husband if it was alright for Carlo's father to see him.

That way you could have avoided hurt feelings between you. Al will always suspect that you still have feelings for Jerry and it would be very difficult for you to erase that from his mind. The only thing to do now is to let his anger subside and then try to explain the whole situation to him.

You must assure him that you love him and respect him. Hopefully, he will get over it and forgive you.

TITA  

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