I made a terrible mistake

Dear Tita,

I married my husband Ramon, even though he was very much older than I, because he was stable and could afford to give me a comfortable life. But after only a few years, I began to wonder whether I made the right choice. My husband was the quiet type, not very sociable and a homebody. I am the exact opposite – I love to socialize, meet friends and go out and have fun. After I gave birth to our two kids, I was so bored at home that I decided to go back to my old job. Ramon did not object as he could see that I was restless at home. I enjoyed being a career woman, wearing smart clothes and hanging out with my friends. They kept telling me how lucky I was to have a nice house, a car, two beautiful kids and a husband who adored me. I didn't tell them the truth – that I was bored with my husband.

One day, a new guy, Pol, arrived from our head office in Makati to conduct training seminars. He was so tall and good-looking that all the ladies swooned over him. He was very outgoing and friendly, always telling jokes and interesting stories about life in the big city. I was assigned to help him and we became good friends. I could sense that there was a certain chemistry between us and I knew Pol sensed it too.

Soon he invited me to have lunch at a restaurant and I accepted. We talked for a long time and I knew I was falling for him. He began texting me and taking me out after work. I told Ramon I had to work overtime so he wouldn't be suspicious. Pol began taking me to motels for our afternoon trysts. I had fallen madly in love with him that I could hardly bear to be with my husband. Finally, I told Ramon that I was leaving him.

He was stunned and asked me why. I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was taking the kids to live with my mother. I could see he was hurt but he didn't stop me.

When I told Pol about leaving my husband, he didn't seem too happy. A week later, he was gone. I learned that he had asked to be transferred back to Makati and he left without saying goodbye. I called him on his cellphone and asked him why he did that.

He said he couldn't be with me as he had a wife and three kids in Makati . He asked me to forgive him for not telling me sooner. I couldn't believe what I heard. I tried to contact Pol many times but he wouldn't answer my calls and text messages. I deeply regret what I did. I wish I didn't leave my husband for Pol.

REGRETTING

Dear Regretting,

What happened to you is entirely your fault – you have no one else to blame. You left your husband for a guy you found exciting, only to find out that he didn't really care for you. Pol was just out to have a fling here. When he learned that you were serious about him, he ran. How could you have been so foolish? You had a good husband, wonderful kids, a nice home and a comfortable life. Now that you lost it, you want to have it all back. But it's too late. You made your choice. Now you have to live with it. Remember the saying, “You'll never know how much something means to you until you lose it”.

TITA

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