I'm in love with my teacher

Dear Tita,

I am a first year college student in one of the prestigious universities here. I have a big problem. For the first time in my life, I have fallen in love. But instead of making me happy and inspired, this has given me pain and frustration. I am in love with the wrong person. He is sixteen years older than I and he is my teacher. To make things worse, he has a wife and a daughter.

At first, my feelings for him were just plain attraction or admiration. But soon, I fell madly in love. He is such a wonderful man that I long to be with him every moment of every day – I'm even willing to become his mistress if he would want it. I know it sounds awful but I'm ready to face the consequences of my desire. By the way, he is an ex-seminarian and I don't think he would do anything to ruin his family. I find myself daydreaming about him and I often make believe he loves me too. I can't stop myself from wanting to be with him and I keep finding excuses to talk to him just to hear his voice and see his face. This problem has taken its toll on me. I can't concentrate on my studies and I am always sad and despondent. I wasn't always this way. I used to be so carefree and happy-go-lucky but now, my problem has changed me completely.

Is it normal for a young girl to feel this way? I am so confused. Please advise me what to do. There is no one else I can turn to.

LINDSAY
(Not my real name)

Dear Lindsay,

There is nothing more tragic than being in love with someone who could never be yours. Every fiber of your being cries out for your love to be fulfilled, but alas, it is not to be. The object of your affection is a married man and that is forbidden territory. He might be Mr. Wonderful and he is everything you wish for in a man. But my dear, he belongs to someone else.

I don't think he would risk losing everything he has – his career, his family and his good name, just for you. What you are going through now is living in a world of make-believe. You daydream about being his mistress and having him love you the way you love him. Please wake up from your reverie. You are wasting your time and emotions on an impossible dream. You must get him out of your system. Go out with your friends and mingle with new people. Give yourself a chance to meet the man who can make you happy - a man who is not only Mr. Wonderful, but Mr. Right.

TITA

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