We want to adopt a baby, but….

Dear Tita,

My husband Ben and I, have been married for four years but we haven't been blessed with a child. Our doctors say there is nothing wrong with either one of us and we can have a baby anytime. After waiting for so long, we have almost given up hope. It hurts to see our friends happy with their kids, while our house is so quiet after we both come home from work.

One day, a relative of mine told me about an unwed mother who gave birth to a baby boy and wanted to give her child up for adoption, as she was destitute and wanted to work in Manila . I immediately asked to see the mother and child. When they were brought to our house, I took the baby in my arms and right then and there, fell in love with the child.

As soon as Ben came home that night, I told him about the baby and the next day we went to see the mother. It was agreed that she would leave her baby with us for one month and then the adoption papers would be finalized. Ben also gave her some money to help her with her expenses. We were so excited to have a child that we went on a shopping spree, buying things for the baby and fixing up his room. My family was so glad to see me very happy and my mother accompanied me to the doctor so that the baby could be given a thorough check-up. That night, Ben and I couldn't sleep and we spent the entire time in the baby's room looking at our little angel. It was so fulfilling for both of us. We planned to have him baptized after the adoption was finalized.

But after the month was over, the mother appeared and told us that the father of her baby wouldn't agree to have their son adopted. It was a big shock for us. We felt our world tumbling down around us. When she took the baby to bring it home, Ben and I cried. After a few days, the mother called me and said that the baby's father might agree to let us adopt him but he wanted to ask for money so he could buy a bike and earn his living as a trisikad driver.

I was so eager to get back the baby that I wanted to give them the money right away. Ben is reluctant about the whole thing as he thinks we might have problems later. What should we do? I am desperate to get back our “little angel.”

LONGING FOR A CHILD

Dear Longing for a Child,

My heart goes out to you and Ben. I can see how badly you want to have this baby. But in your eagerness to have him, you might be falling into a trap. There is the possibility that the parents of the baby might be hustlers who would victimize desperate people like you for money.

They know how much their baby means to you and they might milk you for a lot more than a bike. The longer the baby stays with you, the more your love for him will be. I can foresee how the parents might use this to their advantage and demand more from you.

To save yourselves a lot of heartache, I would advise you to adopt a baby from legitimate adoption agencies. That way you can be protected. And please don't lose hope. The doctors have told you there's no reason why you can't have a baby of your own. Who knows? You might get a visit from the “stork” anytime. Good luck!

TITA

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