He has so many obligations

Dear Tita,

I am 28 years old, single and a career woman. My boyfriend Vic, is the same age and is working with a communications company. We have been “on” for almost a year and we both love each other very much. Most of our friends are married and have kids of their own. They keep asking when we would tie the knot. I have long dreamed of settling down and raising a family but, so far, Vic hasn't proposed. Right now he is the sole breadwinner of his family as his father is disabled, and Vic has to help send his three younger siblings to school. He is the one paying for all the household expenses and all their other needs. Because of this, he is short of cash most of the time.

Whenever we go out on a date, I usually pay as I know his financial situation. I don't mind as I love him but it can get awkward at times, especially if we're out with our friends. My best friend, Clara, once saw me secretly giving Vic money to pay for our dinner at a restaurant and she had a funny look on her face. I'm sure she must have told our other friends about it. I have also lent Vic money many times to help him pay for his father's medicine. My mother is against this relationship because she says if I marry him, I might end up helping him support his family for a long time. I do want to get married as I know my biological clock is ticking, but Vic feels he isn't ready because of his present situation.

How can we solve this problem? I have seen other couples living miserably because of financial problems and I don't want us to end up like them. I want a better life than that.

DESPERATE GIRLFRIEND

Dear Desperate Girlfriend,

You said it. If you marry Vic with his present situation, you WILL end up living miserably because of huge financial problems. Nowadays, it's no joke to support one family, let alone two. Even if you are both working, I can foresee a lot of problems in the future. Your mother is right – you might just end up having to help Vic support his family with your salary. What happens if you have kids of your own? Are you prepared to carry such a heavy burden? I would advise you to think things over very carefully. Your future is at stake.

Remember the old saying, “When hunger knocks at the door, love flies out of the window!”

TITA

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