I just found out
about his affair!

Deat Tita,

My husband and I recently celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We had a grand celebration with our family and our friends. Everyone said our marriage was an ideal union because we never experienced any major setbacks in all these years. I was basking in the glow of our friends’ praises. They kept telling me how lucky I was to have Al for a husband – so loving, caring and so responsible. He made sure we would have a comfortable life with our kids. It was a memorable evening for us and our friends. I told Al I couldn’t ask for more.

However, a few days after, a relative of ours came to see me and he told me that Al had a secret affair with a secretary in his office some years back. When our relative found out about it, he had a man-to-man talk with Al and warned him that he might lose everything if this affair continued. Al probably realized the enormity of what he was doing because he broke off the affair immediately, our relative told me. He asked me not to tell Al that he was the one who told me everything. I promised him I would kept his name out of it.

It was a big shock for me to find out about Al’s affair. It ruined the joy of our 30th anniversary celebration and it made me lose all my trust and confidence in my husband. How dare he cheat on me after all the sacrifices I made for him! I had quit my job and given up my promising career after I got pregnant with our first child and became a housewife to take care of our home and our four kids. I began to think back to the time of his affair and remembered the moments when he had to work “overtime” and came home late. Little did I know that he was spending his time with her.

This has been eating me up. I still haven’t confronted my husband about the whole thing. How do I handle this situation? Could our marriage withstand his past infidelity?

ANGRY WIFE

Dear Angry Wife,

I can understand exactly how you feel. Knowing that your husband cheated on you after all these years can be totally devastating. But you have to remember that marriage has its ups and downs. No matter how perfect a marriage may appear, there are hidden kinks that only the couple knows about. You have been together for 30 years. By this time you know each other very well.

I’m sure Al has noticed something wrong even though you haven’t confronted him. I think you should have a heart-to-heart talk to clear the air. Yes he strayed for a while, but he broke off the affair when he realized he could lose you and the kids. Try to give him some credit for that. If you love your husband, surely you can forgive.

TITA

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