For years I have been praying to have a brother or a sister. It has been lonely being an only child. I badly needed someone to be with. But now it seems that what I have always wanted became my living nightmare.

What a disaster a sibling can be! On the first few months it has been puzzling to think of how a small piece of flesh turn into someone whom I can play with. The mesmerizing wonders start showing themselves. As child, you get fascinated with the tittle-tattle about babies. Then this heaven sent creature started to be the source of your suffering and sorrow.

No more giggling and loud speaking. Running in full speed has been forbidden. Hushed voices should be used in speaking and minimized sounds should be made.

Instead of playing all day long, here I am looking after this lump, warding off insects and preventing her from falling. Interruptions on my fave movie viewing and upsetting but I need to oblige to orders which more or likely range from get the milk, bring the nappie or look after her.

Now I get divided attention and mom neglects me often. I totally feel out of place. This baby is a threat to me! She even disrupts my elation, spoils my excitement and annoys me by her shrill cries that are difficult to subdue.

How? Why? This creature limits my privileges, deprives me of my rights and invades my happy, carefree world.

But I can't take to hate her even if she spoils my childish escapades. Her smile radiates humility accentuated by dimpled cheeks that suggest innocence. And her rounded, glowing eyes reflect truth.

She is older and now she improved a lot. But why do I have to carry all the burden and why does she always reside in comfort? Why is she ushered to a bed of roses while I slept in a bed of nails?

There the menace sits and as usual, I have to look after her and see to it that she's out of danger or trouble. I have to prioritize her welfare before I could even think of mine.

She is annoying! She keeps on questioning and pestering me. She does what I do and follows me wherever I go!

How? Why? This pesky individual always comes before me. She wipes off my freedom and strangles my joy.

But I can't despise her even if she disturbs my adventures and abrupt my daydreams. Her tiny voice echoes as she calls me. She storms with her short, sturdy legs taking sure steps toward me with outstretched arms, ready to enclose them on what her puny height permits her to reach.

I knew I had never been good enough to this naïve child. I considered her enthusiasm with cold shoulders. I want her to get lost! I want things to be back to the way it was before she appeared. I kept on neglecting her endearing deeds and ignoring her lovely work. But she stayed the same. Ever so good, kind and obedient. Ready to follow each order and command.

Maybe she was tired of earning my acceptance. I'm afraid she' far away … the way I wanted to be. My pleasure is none of her concern anymore. I no longer have the power to rule her.

I was surprised that I found it depressing. Then, reasoned out that I just miss having someone to do as I say. That's all. But I know deep inside, I'm missing her laughter.

Days with her been always been filled with fun and I enjoy having somebody who imitates me because it means she thinks highly of me. It was separation of links and banned communication that made me realize that all the while, I had been right.

A sibling is what I've realized and that's the way it has always been. I am fond of her presence not because I want someone to obey me but because I love her.

I had been resistant to reach out. I tended up treating her coldly as she does though I had been constantly resisting the urge of hugging this misty-eyed girl. I can't determine how long I kept up with the situation but I was depressed all along.

When it ended, a had been very delighted. She moved that way since she wants to try that what I had been doing. Upon hearing that, I have laughed my worries off and was glad that I have her.

This situation made me understand my sister more. I now know what siblings are for. How about you? Do you know?

Ma. Stephanie C. Matira

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