'Is he really in love with me?'

Dear Tita,

I became a widow in the year 2000 when my husband Ben met a fatal road accident on his trip to Baguio City. My two kids and I were completely devastated by our loss. He was only 41 when he died. Ben was in the insurance business when he was still alive and he probably had an idea that he would die young, because he took out a big accident insurance policy with me as the principal beneficiary. Aside from his insurance money, I also got a substantial amount from the bus company where he was riding when he met his accident. I didn't have to worry about money when my husband died.

A few years later, I made a trip to Cebu to visit my cousin. There I met Edmund, a co-worker of my cousin. He was so nice and showered me with attention, showing me the sights in Cebu. I learned that he was separated from his wife and had three kids who were staying with him. Ed was such an interesting conversationalist and he made me laugh. Suddenly, I was no longer lonely and alone.

There was someone who made me feel alive again. My visit to Cebu lasted two months as I was having such a good time with Ed. I knew I was in love!

When I got back here, Ed kept calling and sending me text messages. I missed him so much that I invited him to bring his kids to Bacolod for a weekend. I sent him the airplane tickets and when they arrived, I gave him pocket money to spend. They enjoyed their short stay here. After a while, Ed would often come on weekends for a short visit - all expenses paid by me, of course. I would send him money for his kids' school expenses as I knew his salary wasn't much.

Recently, my cousin informed me that all their employees got a bonus from their company, including Ed. He took his kids to spend a weekend in a Bohol resort where they had a great time. I felt bad that I wasn't even invited. My cousin told me that I was a fool for spending my money on Ed. Am I being foolish? Should I give him up?

BOTHERED

Dear Bothered,

It certainly is obvious that Ed is taking advantage of your love for him. He accepts your generosity so willingly, but when he had money and a chance to reciprocate your kindness, he didn't even remember you. Your cousin is right. You have to be careful about being involved with this guy. You might end up broke spending huge sums on him and his kids. What happens when your money runs out? Will he still be there for you? You have kids of your own. Don't forget your responsibility to them too. There are a lot of lonely women in love who become "sugar mommies" to unscrupulous gigolos. Don't allow yourself to be victimized too.

TITA

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