My wife left me for
another woman

Dear Tita,

My wife Yoly and I were married for fifteen years. Our marriage was blessed with three kids: two girls and a boy. I thought we were happy and contented, but after fifteen years, I noticed that Yoly was getting restless and would keep nagging me over our limited income, and how she wished we could afford a bigger house and money to spend for her capritchos.

I was surprised because we are both earning and most of her salary goes to buy her clothes, bags and shoes. She loves to dress up and keeps shopping whenever the mood strikes her. Every time she gets into one of her moods, I just avoid arguing with her to keep the peace but she keeps shouting at me until I shout back.

Our house had become a battleground because of our frequent fights. I pitied the kids who had to witness our battles. They began to keep themselves inside their rooms most of the time. Our son's grades began to suffer. I couldn't understand what happened to Yoly. She had turned from a sweet and caring wife into a discontented woman who complained all the time. Then it happened – after one bitter quarrel, Yoly shouted that she wanted to leave me. I was shocked. I never thought it would come to this. The next day, when I came home from work, she was gone. I felt as though the world came crashing down on me. I tried to look for her but to no avail. Our kids were confused and unhappy over my wife's leaving.

Recently, I found out from a friend that my wife was in Manila and she was living with a rich businesswoman who is a lesbian. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to go to Manila and confront her, but my brother stopped me. He said it will just create a big scandal. He advised me for the sake of my kids to calm down. I don't know what to do. Should I tell my kids?

DESPERATE HUSBAND

Dear Desperate Husband,

Your case is certainly unusual, but it does happen. You never expected your wife to do this and you are still in a state of shock. I can understand exactly how you feel. Your wife's lesbian lover must have tempted her with such a luxurious lifestyle that she could afford to leave her husband and kids. Stop blaming yourself for what happened.

There was nothing you could do to prevent it. The important thing for you to do now is to move on and concentrate on your kids. They need you now more than ever. If you think they are old enough to handle the truth, you could tell them what happened. But be sure it wouldn't cause more emotional problems for them. Good luck.

TITA

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