Should I tell her the truth?

Dear Tita,

I had my first boyfriend when I had just turned seventeen. We were so much in love and I couldn't refuse anything Jojo wanted until we got carried away. The first sign of trouble was when my period stopped. I panicked and told him I was pregnant. Jojo turned pale and said he was too young for this.

A few days later I learned that he left for Mindanao to stay with his uncle. He didn't even say goodbye. I was so hurt and desperate, afraid of what my parents would do. Fortunately, they stood by me and took me to my aunt in Bayawan, Negros Oriental, where I gave birth to Shirley, my baby girl.

When my baby was two months old, we came back here so I could finish my college course. After graduation, I applied with a business firm for a job. The guy who interviewed me, Ray, was so nice and I was hired immediately. He was the head of the Personnel Department and I noticed how good-looking and kind he was. I could sense that he was attracted to me, too. It wasn't long before Ray began courting me and we became sweethearts that Christmas. I told him about Shirley and he understood. He would bring toys for her whenever he visited and soon she was so attached to him. The next Christmas, we got married. Ray proved to be a wonderful husband and a loving father to my daughter. He showered her with so much love even after we had our own two kids. Shirley grew up believing Ray was her Papa. She was Papa's girl.

Now that Shirley is in her teens, I am worried that she might see her birth certificate one day and find out the truth about her real father. Ray told me it's up to me to decide whether to tell her or not. As far as he's concerned, she is his daughter. Please advise me what to do. How do I tell her? I'm so afraid it might ruin everything.

WORRIED MOTHER

Dear Worried Mother,

You do know you have to tell your daughter the truth sooner or later.

There's no way you can keep it a secret forever. Better that she learn it from you than get shocked when she sees her birth certificate or finds out from others. You have been blessed with a wonderful husband who loves your daughter as his own. You and Ray should have a heart-to-heart talk with Shirley and gently break the news to her. Ray should assure her that she will always be his daughter and that she is very much loved. I'm sure telling her kindly couldn't ruin the bond between them.

TITA

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