An uncle once told me "when you go to work, leave you home problems behind, and when you go home from work make sure you leave your workload outside your doorstep." Isn't this the wisest advice you can get and follow to make your life less stressful than it already is? However, this advice didn't work in my almost 12-year stint with the Visayan DAILY STAR. Why? For the simple reason that the STAR has become more of an extended family to me. And you know how it is with family, with your love-hate relationships, the comedies and the dramas and whatnot. We have all evolved one way or another, growing and maturing with the newspaper in our own ways.

I wasn't there in the STAR's early years to witness its birth pains, but most of the people in the STAR were there to see me grow as a reporter and later on as desk editor. The STAR was not my first paid writing job as it was writing reviews for the underground rock scene in the late'80s and early '90s in Manila that gave me my first writing pay check.

However, the STAR was my first professional, no-nonsense writing experience. My first brush with hardcore journalists Carla P. Gomez and Eli Francis J. Tajanlangit, and of course our ultimate strategist, and media stalwart Ninfa R. Leonardia. The STAR was my launching pad, my training ground, and my only other life. Fresh from a Manila university in 1992, I came home to Bacolod not really knowing anyone but my immediate family, old neighbors, and former classmates I haven't seen in a decade.

Restless and all, the job-hunting took me to the door of the STAR when it was still renting space next to the Negros Occidental High School. I must have been the most unprofessional looking kid applying for a job as I went in walking shorts and bravely inquired about any opening that overcast Saturday afternoon.

Turns out Saturday was a day of rest for the newspaper and the office was quiet save for the Business Section, which on that day was manned by Weena Magturo and Mary Ann Barcelona. Luck was on my side however, as Ms. L indulged me with her presence. "Come back on Monday morning as senatorial candidate Gringo Honasan is arriving. You can go with Hernand (Garcienego) to the airport and meet Carla there. She will be covering the news."

Oh my! I left the office elated, nervous and my imagination running wild. Mr. Honasan was my first official coverage, but going back in time, movie actor Robin Padilla's amorous whiff was what got stuck in my nostrils for the rest of that day. For Hernand, it was actress Gretchen Barretto's stunning looks. Carla told me to go after another candidate who was on the same plane, and I know I did it because a story needs to be written at the end of the day. You have to get it because no one will hand it to you on a silver platter. That actually was lesson number one.

Starting out, I knew my Ilonggo was so bad and I struggled hard with words like "Paghiliusa, paghidaet, paglaum" in those New People's Army and Gabriella press releases that I would be reading in the next 10 years. Everything else was new to me: the people, the way of life and the politics.

The three editors at that time, Ms. L., Carla and Ely, worked hard to teach me the ropes in the field, in writing, and to instill in me journalism ethics. Carla is big on journalism ethics and a staunch believer that a journalist is only as good as his/her credibility. In other words, "be fair in writing the story, and give it your best effort in providing equal space. Envelope journalism was a big no-no. The struggling news hens and news men of the STAR are proud of their unblemished credibility. Eli, on one hand, is the best coach one can ever have on public relations.

Personally, there was a falling out of love somewhere in those 12 years, like falling from grace and struggling with the feeling of moving on or staying. I have seen many people come and go. I have seen many come back after some hiatus. I am one of them.

And for more than one reason, I stayed and continued to write! I abhorred the stinking police toilets! But, I can't stop writing. And one can always say that I could have still written if I had moved elsewhere… guess what? I may have loved the feeling of being tortured by the smelly toilets and the foul breaths of the jail inmates.

But, as the writing became formula (who was killed, where, when and how) Ms L. and the rest of the gang felt it was time to give me more responsibilities, lest I go home at 6 pm.

Thrown in the desk, I stayed up with the gang to put the paper to bed and missed watching the sunset for a good many years. Well, I do remember sneaking into the rooftop of the new STAR building when I felt the need to chill out. From there, I remember watching the cars, jeepneys and pedicabs go by, inhaling the diesel from the road and the sweet aroma of home cooking from the slum area next door. I remember looking out where the sun is going down and waiting for the full moon to rise.

And then, there was my struggle with Myasthenia Gravis, a rare illness that causes weakening of the muscles. Apart from my dad, my ex-husband and his family, my STAR family witnessed my relentless fight with Myasthenia. I continued working behind the desk until it became crystal clear that my life has completely changed. My mind was very active, yet my body was stubbornly disregarding all the commands given to it. And soon it became necessary to leave the STAR to seek out medical attention.

In my almost two years of absence from the STAR, two significant things happened: I had a successful surgery that took me off maintenance medication for life, and I got separated and moved out of my home with my almost two-year-old daughter.

It was one of the loneliest moments in my life. I should have been out dancing more and celebrating my second lease on life after the long bout with Myasthenia. Instead, I found myself recuperating alone, rejected and back to square 1 at 30.

But then, mutual interests and needs brought me back to the STAR. This time however, the editors thought I should be confined to the desk just to see if I could handle going back to the grind again. CPG actually worked out a very good deal for me as the desk job started at 3 p.m.

Slowly I returned to newspaper life, but this time there were no front-page actions, no running after news sources, no muckraking, no press conferences to deal with. The job required editing and layouting of stories for the inside pages, except the Business and Sports sections, as well as editing, layouting and ranking of stories for the Negros Oriental page (back page).

In no time I was enjoying coffee after coffee in front of the computer and the load of stories and news releases that had to be taken cared of before it goes to the desk of NRL. And not long after, I found myself to be the only person in the newsroom who had the time to accommodate impoverished parents who needed help for their sick children.

One thing I can always be proud of the STAR, other than its strong image as a credible newspaper, is that it gave back so much to the community as well in terms of outreach. Even before I handled that outreach aspect of the paper (yes, it was unofficially given to me for a short time) the STAR had helped countless of children who are now leading normal lives.

I am ever so thankful for the opportunity the STAR gave me to help sick children get better. Our appeals for help for the poor and sick children most often did not go on deaf ears. Children got better, and had the chance to lead normal lives. In the two years that I was blessed with this task, the STAR was able to send at least three girls to the Philippine Heart Center for surgery and that is simply awesome.

Everyone at the STAR would feel glum when some children don't make it. It happens. However, in truly sad circumstances, we found solace that even for a brief moment our efforts helped made their lives a bit more comfortable.

Those years humbled me and instilled in me true and deep compassion for the needy beyond political and hypocritical boundaries. I knew everyone in the STAR felt the same way, as the fund-raising stories were always given spaces in the paper.

With the birth of my second child, there was the need to move on to greener pastures. The future of my children should now come first than my love for writing. And so after about 10 Christmas and New Year parties, I left the STAR for Canada where everything is unfamiliar. But I am truly grateful that I have a family here to support me in everything that I am going through…homesickness is a killer! And being apart from the little ones is heart wrenching.

For nearly 3 years now, I have stopped writing. For a while, I was a big time blogger, but I outgrew it as quickly as it became a phenomenal marketing tool for everyone and everything. The internet was my playground, yes true. But my writing world (cheesy as it is) came to life in the pages of a newspaper. I tried to do it for TV, only to discover it lame and unfulfilling, maybe because my orientation is print journalism. But, I sure would give it another try. I am a stubborn one after all.

And now, as life goes a little easier on me and my children, there is the marketing management program at Ryerson University I need to finish; a road test I need to pass; an immigrant status I need to work on; and more importantly an itch I need to fulfill. That is to go back to writing again. I am after all, a writer for life. Thank you very much DAILY STAR.* Odette Montelibano

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