'He found his first love'

Dear Tita,

I was happily married to my husband for eighteen years and we have two beautiful children. The trouble started when he went back to Dumaguete City to attend their class reunion. He was all excited about seeing his former classmates and friends again after twenty-five years. He used to tell me of the good old days when he was a young college student.

Those were the best years of his life according to him. He said his gang's escapades were legendary among the students of the university. How he longed for those golden days of his youth.

When he came home after a week, I began to notice a change in him. He seemed preoccupied and unusually quiet. I would often catch him looking faraway as though he was thinking of something or someone. I asked him what was wrong but he kept saying it was nothing.

After a few weeks, he said he had to go back to Dumaguete as his friends were planning to put up a business that he was interested in. This went on for sometime and his trips became more frequent and longer.

There were also text messages and calls which he would answer making sure I couldn't hear what he was saying. I began to suspect that there was something funny going on. One day his cellphone rang while he was in the shower. I picked it up and read the message. It said,

"Miss you very much, sweetheart". I was shocked! I checked the number on his contacts and found that it came from a woman. I knew that name. It was the name of his former sweetheart in college. I immediately confronted him and he denied there was anything going on between them. No matter what he said, I couldn't get over my suspicions. I knew how much he loved her and how bad he felt when she left him to go abroad. I thought he was over his first love but now I began to suspect that they met and fell in love again. He insists I am just imagining things.

I don't want to keep on nagging him as I know it might drive him away. But every time he goes to Dumaguete I imagine the two of them together. Please advise me what to do.

INSECURE WIFE

Dear Insecure Wife,

I can't blame you for suspecting the worse. Seeing his former girlfriend again after all these years must have rekindled the spark of love which had been lying dormant for a long time. It's time to act. Have a frank talk with him and ask him if he wants to give up his family for this woman. Make him understand that he can't have it both ways.

He has to choose. But before you tell him this, you have to be prepared for what you must do should he tell you that he still loves her. Are you ready to give him up? I would suggest you also consult a lawyer about protecting your rights as a wife.

This is difficult but it's a reality you have to face. Be strong. Hopefully, your resolve will jolt him into realizing what he had all these years - a loving wife and kids. I don't think any man would be prepared to give it all up, even for a first love.

TITA

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