'I'm getting suspicious'

Dear Tita,

My husband Nick and I are a young couple, both working here in Bacolod. We have a daughter, Chinky, who is now 4 years old. Like other young couples, we love to go out to dinner to relax after a long day's grind or spend our weekends at different resorts. We used to go out with our best friends, Chona and her husband Albert. We were so close and enjoyed each others' company so much that we became inseparable. I have always admired Chona, who looks like a model - slim, long-haired and beautiful. They were such an attractive couple.

Albert was sent by their company to the US for a training program. When he came back, he seemed different and Chona began to worry until she found out why he had changed. Albert met a Filipina in LA and had fallen in love with her! It was a big shock for Chona and in her rage, she threw him out of their house. Later on, we learned that he went back to the States and married the woman after divorcing Chona. We felt so sorry for her as she was so broken-hearted. She couldn't believe that her husband, who had been her boyfriend since their college days, could do this to her.

Nick and I tried our best to console her over the break-up of her marriage. We took her with us whenever we went out. Often she had her weekends with us, spending a lot of time with our daughter who adored her. We knew the pain she was going through and tried to help her forget. She focused her attention on her career and was soon promoted to an executive position. I was hoping that in time, she would find a man who could make her happy again.

After a year, Chona gradually got over her misery and was back to her old, cheerful self again. I noticed that she had become very close to Nick, often calling him and laughing with him on the phone. At first I thought nothing of it but it wasn't long before I would get an uneasy feeling about this (call it a wife's intuition). Whenever she was with us, Nick seemed so happy and full of life. If she had a problem at work, it was Nick she confided in and he was always eager to help her. There were times when I wanted to have an evening out with him, just the two of us. But before I knew it, he would call her up on the phone, inviting her to join us. She made him laugh with her jokes and she enjoyed laughing over his corny jokes.

This is bothering me. I know that I might just be imagining things and that there might be nothing to their closeness. Yet I can't help being worried that he might fall for her because she is so beautiful, intelligent and vivacious. I feel so dull and uninteresting whenever she is around. I don't want to ruin our friendship although I wish we didn't have to see her all the time. Am I being too suspicious? How do I deal with this?

TROUBLED WIFE

Dear Troubled Wife,

I know exactly how you feel. You can't help feeling jealous because Chona is so beautiful and fascinating - Nick might fall for her. However, you really have no proof that there is something more than just friendship between the two of them. Jealousy is poison - it can consume you and destroy your sense of perspective. On the other hand, there is some truth to the saying, "Often, the wife is the last to know". The thing to do now is to gradually limit your contact with Chona. Make it a point to spend your weekends with your husband and daughter - just the three of you. Don't take your husband for granted. Take care of how you look and brush up on the current events and what's new, so you can have interesting conversations with Nick. Try not to let your emotions be clouded with jealousy. Look at the situation rationally, BUT KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN! Nowadays, a wife can't be too careful.

TITA

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