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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, March 8, 2006
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Tell Your Tita

'My niece doesn't
want to marry her bf'

Dear Tita,

I am single and presently living with my sister and her family. Being 37 years old, they consider me an old maid and keep teasing me to find the "last train", but I am not interested in getting married as I am enjoying my job and my friends.

My favorite niece, Dina, a sophomore college student, tells me that she wants to be a successful career woman like me. She says I'm her favorite aunt and that she loves me very much. I love this girl very much too. We are practically soulmates.

Recently, we got the shock of our lives when Dina suddenly told her parents that she was pregnant by her boyfriend Lito, a college student like her. Her parents were very angry and insisted that she marry Lito as soon as possible to save the family from a big scandal. Dina cried all night and her mother was almost hysterical. She just couldn't believe that her youngest daughter could get into this situation.

The next day, Lito came looking a bit scared as Dina's parents gave both of them a tongue-lashing. My sister's husband blamed her for not being more strict with their daughter, which made my sister more furious. She wanted the wedding to be held this summer after the second semester. A few days ago, Dina came to me and confided that she didn't really want to marry Lito.

She wasn't sure whether he would make a good husband and father. I asked her why and she said he is so immature and irresponsible. She told me that what happened to them was an accident but that she never expected she would get pregnant from just one time of having sex. I advised her to inform her parents immediately about what she wanted before it's too late, but she is hesitant because she doesn't want to cause them more pain. She begged me not to tell her mother about this.

I am torn between two things - I want to tell my sister about what Dina told me but I don't want to break my promise to my niece. She trusts me completely and I have never broken that trust. Please advise me what to do.

FAVORITE AUNT

Dear Favorite Aunt,

You have to talk to your sister and try to make her understand that she should first find out if Dina really wants to marry Lito before rushing them into marriage. In the heat of emotions, no one thought of asking Dina what she wanted. The mother and daughter need to have a serious talk just like the one you had with Dina. Advise your sister to be calm and understanding. Her being hyper is not going to solve the problem. If Dina is pressured into marrying a man she doesn't love and admire, then the marriage is doomed from the start. It will only end up in a broken home. The sensible solution would be to wait until they are mature enough to decide whether they want to spend the rest of their lives together. I hope young girls would read this and realize that experimenting with sex could lead to serious complications. All it takes is just one time and she could get pregnant.

TITA

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