'How can I protect
my daughter?'

Dear Tita,

My parents were against my marrying Sonia from the start. My sisters said she was a spoiled brat who was used to getting her way because her parents indulged her. They all warned me that she might make my life miserable, but I was blinded by love and thought she was perfect for me. My parents reluctantly accepted my decision to marry the woman I loved. I was so happy during the first months of our marriage and foolishly thought it was always going to be this way.

But after a while, I began to notice Sonia's uncontrollable temper whenever she couldn't have her way. She would throw a tantrum, slam doors and throw things until I acceded to her wishes. If I refused, we would have loud arguments which often ended with me walking out of the house, unable to stand her shouting at me. I thought that this was just a part of the period of adjustment and hoped that sooner or later, things would become better. But I was wrong. Things only got worse when she became pregnant. I found myself dreading to go home after work, knowing she might be in a bad mood (which she was most of the time). I worked so hard just to make her happy but she treated me like dirt. She was always belittling my efforts. Nothing I did seemed to please her. Every time we fought, she would take our daughter away until I would come begging her to return home.

She began going out at night with her socialite friends, leaving our seven-year-old daughter Mimi, with the maid. The final straw was when I came home to find Mimi with a very high fever and Sonia was out. I brought our daughter to the hospital and the doctor informed me that she had dengue. When Sonia finally showed up at 1 a.m., I lost my temper and we had a violent fight. In my anger, I slapped her and she reported me to the authorities. After Mimi got well, Sonia told me she was leaving me for good. There was nothing I could do to stop her.

It's been five years since she left me. I am now living in with a wonderful woman who, I plan to marry once I get an annulment. I often borrow Mimi and take her with us to the malls or to the beach resorts. She enjoys being with us and we love having her. I also make it a point to attend her school programs as Sonia is too busy to attend. Recently I learned that Sonia was seeing a younger man who often sleeps in her house. I am worried about Mimi as I also heard that the man was a shabu-user. I tried to talk to Sonia about my fears but she refuses to listen. How can I make sure nothing bad will happen to my daughter? Sonia is so headstrong and temperamental that I have to be careful whenever I deal with her as she explodes with anger very easily. Please advise me what to do.

WORRIED DAD

Dear Worried Dad,

You should be concerned. There are so many incidents of young girls being raped by their stepfathers who are either drunk or high on drugs. I can't understand why Sonia is so unreasonable and stubborn when this concerns your own daughter. As a mother, she should never put her child in harm's way and letting her lover (who is a shabu-user), sleep in her house, is definitely courting danger. You could consult a lawyer about how to protect your daughter. You have every right to do so. Act now before it's too late.

TITA

back to top