A silver more precious than gold

One thing nice about being a newspaper columnist is that one can write about himself once in awhile. Last Saturday, Blandy and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary at the family farm in Ma-ao. It was a simple affair, but it was made meaningful because of the people who shared it with us.

We did not invite the hundreds of relatives and friends who would normally be in the guest list of "silver-larians" like us. Instead, Blandy and I decided to blowout her brothers and sisters in Manila with round-trip plane tickets to Bacolod so they could share the event with us. Her family, my family, and a small group of friends have been our pillar of support during the initial years of married life when our two personalities, coming from two different backgrounds, decided to merge and make a go at a relationship "till death do us part". These three groups deserved to be honored above everyone else.

During the last two years or so my brothers, sisters and I, together with our respective families, have developed a forested area inside the sugar farm in Barangay Ma-ao, Bago City into a family resort. Hacienda Bagacay had become a weekend haven for the Hagads, a place where the clan bonds and close ties with relatives and friends are strengthened. Blandy and I agreed there was no place more fitting to share our declaration of togetherness than this peaceful retreat, just an hour's ride away from home.

Fr. Pay Gargar, parish priest of Barangay Ma-ao, said Mass for us. He had a statement during the homily that is fit to be told and shared. He said the wedding ceremony is a promise to love, to live together and to be a family of God. The silver wedding anniversary celebration, on the other hand, is a declaration of fulfillment, of having lived up to the promise made. That, said Father Pay, makes it even more significant than the original marriage vows. He was smiling broadly as he told his small congregation that he earlier asked Blandy if we wanted a renewal of wedding vows, and she replied "Never mind, Father, our marriage license has no expiry date anyway." He agreed.

That anniversary celebration was a resounding success for us. Everything, including the weather, went according to plan - except for one gaff which turned out even better than we expected. Blandy had told our invited guests to come in simple attire - plain white T-shirts for the men; and any "batik" outfit for the ladies. One very close and dear lady friend however did not hear the telephone invitation right. Told to "come in batik, like the one they wear in Mindanao," she wonderingly - but dutifully - arrived, dressed in military "fatigues"!! Everyone, including she who heard wrong, had a good laugh about it.

It had always been my wish, should my wife and I get to the 25th year of our relationship together, to pay homage to the people who have been good to our marriage. The marital relationship, as any couple who have accepted the graces of matrimony knows, is no bed of roses. Everywhere, and all the time, there are pitfalls and pressures being exerted to break it. Staying together through thick and thin is hard, and the support of family and friends makes a huge difference in turning it into a success. More than to compliment ourselves, last Saturday Blandy, my two children and I wanted to thank the core pillars of our family with that simple celebration at the farm. I think we succeeded.*

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