'His Daughter
Is Against Me'

Dear Tita,

I am single, 36 years old and a successful career woman. When I was younger, my focus was on my career and so I paid no attention to the many suitors who tried to court me. I was able to help my parents and my younger siblings with their studies and by the time they finished their college courses, I was already in my early 30s. I thought I would end up an old maid.

During one of my trips to Davao City, I met Dante, an executive of a company doing business with us. He was the most attractive-looking guy in the room even though he looked older than the others. We were introduced and I found him very intelligent and witty. The next day, he offered to show me the attractions of Davao. He told me he was a widower (his wife died of cancer 5 years ago) and had a daughter who was in Grade 6. He told me how lonely and sad his life had been without his wife. He and his daughter were very close and she was used to getting her way. We had a nice time talking for hours about so many things. I knew he found me attractive and I felt different and more alive when I was with him.

After I came back to Bacolod, he kept calling long-distance and texting me everyday. He told me that he was falling in love with me and I admitted I felt the same way. We would often schedule our trips to Cebu so we could be together. I knew that this was the real thing - I found love at last. During one of our trips to Cebu, he brought his daughter along so she could meet me and get to know me. But from the moment, she saw me, I could feel her animosity towards me. She was polite but cold and even her father noticed how aloof she was to me. He apologized afterwards and asked me to understand his daughter. I tried to but no matter how hard I tried, she just didn't seem to like me.

Last Christmas, Dante and I decided that we would get married this year. I immediately informed my family and friends who were so excited for me. They had long wanted me to settle down and they all approved of Dante. But when Dante informed his daughter about our plans to get married, she threw a tantrum and told him she didn't want him to marry. She was so agitated that she had an asthma attack. Dante had to postpone coming to see me on Valentines Day because he couldn't leave her in that state. I felt bad as this would have been our first time to celebrate Valentine's Day together. I realized then how difficult it would be to marry a guy whose daughter was against me. I've tried harder to be close to her but she kept shutting me out.

Now Dante is worried because it has affected her schooling and so we decided to postpone our wedding for a few more months. I am beginning to have doubts about marrying him knowing that he would be torn between his daughter whom he loves very much, and me. There just seems to be no way that she would accept me. Should I give him up? I do love him very much. Please advise me on what to do.

BOTHERED

Dear Bothered,

This early, you can see how difficult it will be for Dante's daughter to accept you. If you do decide to marry in spite of her attitude towards you, then prepare yourself for a bumpy ride. Kids who are spoiled by their parents know they can easily manipulate them. Unless you can win her over to your side, it will be rough sailing for you. But if you and Dante truly love each other, then you can both face any problem. Have a heart-to-heart talk with Dante and his daughter. She should realize that he loves you very much and that this doesn't mean he loves her any less. If she is convinced of this, then hopefully, she will learn to accept you.

TITA

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