'My daughter's father is back!'

Dear Tita,

I fell in love with Eric when I was working for a company engaged in selling beauty products. One day, a good-looking guy came to me and asked a lot of questions about our products. He was very pleasant and friendly and I enjoyed talking to him about a lot of things. After a while, he finally admitted he wasn't interested in the beauty products but was only trying to find a way to get to know me. He told me he had seen me often and found me very attractive. After that first meeting, we became friends and he would drop by once or twice a week to invite me out for a snack. I knew I was falling in love with Eric and I felt so happy when he told me that

he loved me. Our relationship became serious and I agreed to live in with him so we could economize on our expenses. He promised to marry me as soon as he was earning enough. My parents, who were living in Bayawan, Negros Oriental didn't know what was going on.

When my period didn't arrive, I knew I was pregnant. I told Eric and he looked worried. He said he had problems at work and might even be laid off. After I gave birth to our daughter, Pinky, we were really hard-up as I wasn't working and his salary was hardly enough. We were fighting a lot and he was often drunk when he came home. He blamed me for our situation, telling me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant right away. He was so unreasonable and hot-tempered that I tried to avoid getting him angry. But it was getting worse. We were so miserable, hungry and broke. One day, I came home to find Eric gone. He left without a word.

I panicked, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to go home to my parents as they were old and frail. For weeks I tried to find work but didn't have any luck. Luckily, I ran into an old friend who was shocked at how I looked! She felt so sorry for me that she took us to live with her and helped me find a job. She treated us like her own family and I was so grateful.

Years passed; my daughter Pinky is now in Grade 5 and an honor student. I got the biggest shock when Eric suddenly showed up. He begged me to forgive him for walking out on us but he said everything seemed so hopeless at the time. I told him what's past is past and that we had survived. He was now married and living in Cebu. He said they were childless as his wife couldn't bear children. While we were talking, Pinky arrived from school and I told her he was her Papa. She was shy at first but after a while, she was chatting merrily with him about her activities in school. I could see that Eric was delighted with his daughter as she is so "viva". Eric promised to send money regularly for Pinky's expenses. He asked if he could bring her to Cebu for a vacation. I said yes and during the Christmas break, she spent a week in Cebu.

After she came home, she was so excited about her experience. She told me how big and beautiful their house was and how she really enjoyed her stay. They had gifted her with clothes and a celfone with camera. They now text each other everyday. Recently she said she again wants to spend summer vacation in Cebu. I am a bit hesitant as she might decide one day that she wants to live with Eric and his wife, Vilma, who is very good to her. Pinky keeps talking about them all the time. Am I being a selfish mother?

WORRIED MOTHER

Dear Worried Mother,

Your daughter Pinky and her father have just met and are getting to know each other. It must be a tremendous experience for her to have a father. As you said, "what's past is past and you have survived". I admire you for raising a wonderful, vivacious little girl despite all the hardships you had undergone. I'm sure Pinky loves you very much and would never exchange you for her Papa and his wife. Try to be a bit more understanding. Stop worrying and feeling insecure. He might shower her with expensive things but the bonding and love you have forged with your daughter is very strong. Never underestimate it.

TITA

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