'I still love him'

Dear Tita,

Francis and I were sweethearts for three years. We often went out with my cousin Alma and her boyfriend Ted. One day, Alma came to see me and told me that she had broken up with Ted. I felt so sorry for her knowing how she loved him but she said it was all over between them. To help her through this difficult period, Francis and I took her whenever we went out on a date. She told me how lucky I was to have somebody like Francis.

When our company opened a branch in Davao City, I was temporarily transferred there to help train the new personnel. Francis was dismayed to learn that I would be away for six months but I told him we could contact each other everyday by texting and calling. Reluctantly he agreed. The day I left, Francis and Alma saw me off at the airport. He looked so forlorn that I asked Alma to take care of him while I was away.

The months I spent in Davao were very hectic. I met many new friends in Davao and they helped entertain me knowing how lonely I was. Francis kept calling or texting at all hours, telling me how much he missed me. After a few months, his calls and text messages became fewer and fewer. I asked him why but he told me he was very busy with their project. I was a bit worried so I contacted Alma and asked her if there was something wrong but she assured me everything was fine.

When I got back, Francis met me at the airport. He looked worried and said we should have a talk about a problem. I could sense that there was a big change in him - he

couldn't look me in the eye and he seemed so bothered. He told me that while I was away, something happened - he and Alma fell in love! I could feel my world crashing down on me. I couldn't believe it. I asked him why and he said it just happened. He tried to explain but I didn't want to hear anymore so I left him standing there. I contacted Alma and shouted at her on the phone, calling her a traitor and a snake in the grass. All she could say was "I'm sorry". I was totally devastated. Everybody in the office knew what happened and I could see they all felt sorry for me. My boss asked me if I wanted to go back to Davao and I accepted the offer. I stayed in Davao for more than a year to mend my broken heart.

Last Christmas I came home. Everyone was happy to see that I was over my heartache. I found out that Francis and Alma broke up while I was away. She left for Manila to work as a flight attendant. On Christmas eve, Francis showed up bringing a big gift for me. He told me how sorry he was about what happened and that he realized how much he loved me after I left. I didn't answer him and tried to ignore him every time he tries. But he won't give up and keeps on texting and calling. He keeps showing up at our office just to see me. I am civil to him but distant. My sisters and friends are still mad at him and Alma for what they did. They told me that Francis can not be trusted and that I shouldn't even talk to him anymore. They are right of course but deep down, I still love him and I know I always will. Should I forgive him?

STILL IN LOVE

Dear Still in Love,

They say that time heals but the pain and the hurt never go away. What he did was so despicable that it would almost be impossible to forgive and forget. Some women never could (or would). Only you can answer your question. How deeply do you love him? Is it so deep that you would be willing to forgive the sleepless nights, the endless tears, the black despair, the impotent rage and the broken heart he caused? It takes a special kind of person to do that. Don't make it easy for him. Don't rush into making a decision. Take your time and weigh things very carefully. If you find that you are willing to take him back in spite of what he did, then that is your decision and yours alone. The heart after all, "has its reasons that reason cannot know".

TITA

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