'My mother is
addicted to mahjong'

Dear Tita,

Our father died of cardiac arrest three years ago. His death was sudden and totally unexpected. It was a big shock to my mother who had been married to him for 43 years. We tried our best to help her cope with her grief but she was inconsolable for a long time. There seemed to be no way for her to snap out of her depression, which was a big worry for us. Her friends and other relatives also tried to cheer her up.

Finally, a close friend convinced her to play mahjong with their group. She began to enjoy herself as it made her forget her loss for a while. We were relieved to know that, finally, she was getting over her sadness. This went on for sometime. Her mahjong games increased from once a week to three times a week until she played almost everyday. I was concerned about her health as she would play for hours until nighttime. But she insisted it was her therapy. When I learned that she was playing for high stakes and losing most of the time, I became concerned. Every time I asked her about the big amounts she was losing, she became defensive and irritable. There were times when she would play from lunchtime until late at night.

Soon, she began asking money from my sister and me to pay for her bills. We asked her about her savings in the bank but she told us it was all gone. It was hard to believe that she could spend all that money so fast since it was a considerable amount. She told me that her monthly pension was no longer enough for her expenses so she used her savings. I began to have doubts after I found out that she kept playing for high stakes. By this time, we were giving her money regularly to pay for her electricity, water, phone bills and other expenses. But she kept asking for more. I knew that most of her money went to her mahjong debts.

The sad part is that she has began selling her things - refrigerator, TV and her jewelry. Her addiction to mahjong is now uncontrollable. I worry that she might even sell her house just to have money for her gambling. My sister's husband and my wife are now complaining as a big chunk of our income goes to paying for our mother's expenses. How can we make her stop? She insists that it is her only happiness and we should not begrudge her as she is so lonely.

We love our mother dearly and would like her to be happy. We have tried to convince her not to play for high stakes but our pleas have been in vain. At the rate she is going, she will end up with nothing. Please help us before it's too late.

WORRIED SON

Dear Worried Son,

Your mother's gambling has become an addiction. There are a lot of gamblers who are now broke because of excessive gambling for high stakes. Try to entertain her by bringing her grandchildren often to visit her. Ask your close relatives to help you convince her to stop before she loses everything she has. Limit the amount of money you give her every month so she won't have capital for her mahjong everyday. If you could wean her away from her daily game, then that would be a major step in her rehabilitation. I hope she reads this and realizes the problem she is facing.

TITA

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