'I cheated on my husband'

Dear Tita,

I do a lot of traveling around the country in my job (our company has branches nationwide). My husband Alan, has been very supportive and he would see to it that he spent a lot of time with our two kids after he came home from work. He would tutor them and keep me posted on what's happening in the house while I was away. My co-workers envied me for having such a wonderful husband.

During one of my trips to Manila, I met Jaime, a good-looking client of our company. He was bright, charming and a terrific conversationalist. I never met a guy who could talk about any topic with such authority. One day, he invited me to dinner to discuss something about his new project. That evening was so enjoyable that we kept seeing each other often. I didn't tell Alan about my dates with Jaime and when he called, I would tell little white lies. Alan trusted me completely and never suspected. I knew I was playing with fire but I told myself I could handle the situation and I would never let it get out of hand. For me it was just a harmless flirtation. Jaime told me his problems with his wife and how terribly jealous she was. He said she was so controlling that he felt as though he couldn't breathe. I felt sorry for him and, before I knew it, we became lovers.

Our relationship lasted for almost a year until one day while I was in Davao, I got a call from Alan that our 7-year-old daughter Jinky was very sick. I immediately rushed home, fearing the worse. In the hospital, the doctor told us it was dengue and was quite serious. Alan and I cried as we clung to each other. Secretly, I prayed and promised God that if my daughter would survive, I would stop seeing Jaime. After a couple of days, Jinky got well and was back in school. I knew then that my family was the most important thing to me and I vowed never to cheat on my husband again. I called Jaime and told him about my decision and he agreed that we should stop seeing each other.

Two months later, I got the shock of my life when Alan came home looking livid with anger. He confronted me about my affair with Jaime. I tried to deny it but he told me that Jaime's wife told him everything. She had been spying on her husband and gathered enough information about our dates with her husband. I finally admitted that I had a brief affair but that it was over. I begged Alan to forgive me and to let us start anew. I vowed never to cheat on him again. Alan broke down and kept asking how I could do this to him. Fortunately, he agreed to give me a second chance.

It's been a year now and we are still struggling with our marriage. Alan has changed so much. He is not the cheerful, loving guy he used to be. He easily gets angry and stays out until late at night. I know it's all my fault and there is not a day that I don't regret what I did. What can I do to make things the way it was before?

GUILTY WIFE

Dear Guilty Wife

There is no way you can make things the way it was before. You have done the unforgivable thing - you have been unfaithful to your husband. How could you do this to a wonderful husband and father to your kids? Did you really believe you'd never get caught?

You were dazzled by the good looks and charm of this exciting guy who swept you off your feet. You should have known better. You risked your marriage when you succumbed and now your marriage is in tatters.

I don't know if Alan could ever forgive and forget. He is suffering so much, knowing you cheated on him. You have hurt him to the core of his manhood. Just pray that in time, he will accept what happened and forgive. In the meantime, try to win back your husband's trust before you can win back his love.

TITA

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