'Should I pretend?'

Dear Tita,

I was so madly in love with my boyfriend Luis. We were on for three years and I thought we would get married someday and have children of our own. My greatest wish was that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I was so blinded with love that I didn't realize Luis didn't feel the same way. Settling down with me was the farthest thing on his mind as his priority was his career and how to achieve his ambition.

His dream came true when his company sent him to Manila for further training. He promised to contact me everyday. At first he would text or call often and I lived for those calls. After his training, he was assigned to their head office in Makati. When he told me about it, I got depressed as I had expected him to be back here after his training. Soon, I began to notice that, gradually, his calls and text messages became few and far between. At first I thought it was because he was just so busy.

But whenever I called him, he sounded distracted and in a hurry to say goodbye. He was no longer as loving as he used to be. Finally, my worst fears were confirmed when he called me and told me he was sorry but it was all over between us. I was shocked! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I burst into tears and asked him why. He said he didn't feel the same way anymore and that I should forget him. I felt my world suddenly crumbling down. It was so heartbreaking that it took a long time before I got over the pain. I thought the hurt would never go away.

After a few years, I met a nice guy who courted me and because he was so caring, I grew to love him. I learned to laugh and be happy again. One day I was walking in the mall when I ran into my former boyfriend, Luis, who was with his pregnant wife. He was shocked to see me and introduced me to her as a "good friend". They had just transferred here after staying in Manila for years. She seemed very friendly and charming that I felt at ease talking to her. Soon, she began texting me inviting me to have coffee with her. She told me she didn't know a lot of people here and would like to be my friend.

I feel guilty about the deception. She honestly believes that we were just good friends and Luis acts as though there was nothing between us. Can I just keep on pretending? Or, should I tell her that I was her husband's girlfriend before. She is such a sweet and caring person that I feel so guilty whenever she talks about Luis, not knowing about our past. I am so confused. Please help.

FORMER GIRLFRIEND

Dear Former Girlfriend,

Tell her the truth. You don't have to narrate the whole thing in detail, just mention that once upon a time, when you were both very young, you used to be "on". But it was not meant to be and you have gone on with your lives. Keep it short and simple and never mention it again. That way, if she hears about it from others (oh yes, sooner or later a "well-meaning friend" would tell her!), she won't feel betrayed. What is past is past. You're still lucky to have found a new love who can make you happy.

TITA

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